Coffeedoxy: Coffeehouse Heresies You Need to Know
- Elizabeth Jerrell
- Feb 1, 2024
- 1 min read
Back in 2013, Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick wrote a ground-breaking piece on the dangers of heretical coffee which, over a decade later, caught our attention and hasn't let it go.
Was this post well-received and widely discussed when published? We have no idea. Honestly we were pretty young at the time. But, as the content is no less relevant or pressing today, we're taking it upon ourselves (with the author's blessing) to share a few of our favorite excerpts here.
Your local coffeehouse may be a hotbed of heresy. Check the following list and see how yours measures up.
Irish coffee is Nestorian, being two natures conjoined solely by good will.
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The Caffè Americano is a form of Unitarian Universalism, being so watered down so as not even to qualify as coffee.
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Chicory is Arian, not truly coffee at all but a separate creation.
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A rigorist exclusivism for Fair Trade Coffee is a form of Donatism, insisting that only sinless hands may produce a true beverage.
If these coffeehouse heresies alarm you (as they should), check out Fr. Andrew's full blog for over a dozen more examples.
And, if upon being made aware of the precarious position we are in, you decide to ditch theologically divisive coffee shops altogether, never fear; our coffee is, in fact, the best. And since pride is not a heresy, you'll be at peace drinking it.
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